Meet J.O.E Daking, Canada’s latest R&B/Electronica/House sensation. Say, he sure looks familiar. Can it be . . . ? Is it really . . . ? Why yes, it’s none other than Jonathan Roy, son of NHL legend Patrick Roy!

It’s great that he’s found something to fall back on, because judging by his career stats, the goaltending thing might not work out.

Here’s his Myspace page, should you want to go check out his block-rockin’ beats and smooth-like-mayonnaise flow. Like butter dripping over a hot biscuit, he is. Daking. See what he did there? Roy sounds like roi, French for king. The king. Da king. Daking. So clever! So urban!

Fuck, guys like this are really making it too easy. There are so many ways to skewer this, I don’t even know where to start. I mean, this shit writes itself. The Rico Suave photos? The girl on the waterfall? The horrible rhymes and lame-ass beats? The fedora? So much to choose from. How about I just leave you with some ageless Beastie Boys rhymes that sum up the situation nicely:

So many wack M.C.’s
You get the T.V. bozack
Ain’t even gonna call out your names
‘Cause you’re so wack
But one big oaf whose faker than plastic
A dictionary definition of the word spastic
You should have never started something
That you couldn’t finish
‘Cause writin’ rhymes to me
Is like Popeye to spinach
I’m bad ass move your fat ass
‘Cause you’re wack son
Dancin’ around like you think you’re Janet Jackson

Glovetap to Bethany at HLOG for finding this, via Alanah, via Greg Wyshynski, via Deadspin commenter Im a people person. Who drinks.

- The Sieve

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