Being the emotionally deficient guys that we are, we normally dole out our love in small, grudging doses with strings attached (see “On The Kwan” in right column). However, now that Canucks defenceman Rory Fitzpatrick has officially fallen short of a write-in invite to the NHL All-Star game, we can say this: Well-played, sir.
You conducted yourself with exemplary grace in a situation that snowballed into circus-like proportions. You endured the barbs and brickbats of jerks such as Don Cherry and Wayne Gretzky with nary a retort (though we did love the one jab you allowed yourself, about how a couple of months ago no one cared about the all-star game and now it’s “so precious.”)
Cherry went so far as to call you a “freak,” saying your fans were laughing at you, not with you. In typical fashion, his Coaches’ Corner rant was full of mistakes (like when he said you haven’t played all year). Gretzky said you didn’t deserve to be there, even if the fans did vote you in. Others said the campaign made a mockery of the all-star game.
We tip our hats to you. By taking the high road, remaining modest and understated, you showed us all why so many were willing to try and get you into the starting lineup.
To Gretz and Grapes: go fuck your hats. Nobody cares what you think. Some say the campaign was conceived to demonstrate the flaws in the all-star fan voting system; we think you did a fine job of that on your own. You have forgotten that the all-star game – cynical, money-grubbing joke that it is – was originally intended for fans to see their favourite players. And sometimes the fans like the underdog, the grinder, the guy who isn’t flashy but always gets the job done. Who the hell are you to tell us we’re wrong, and that our choice is undeserving?
Well said, Sieve, and what about Randy Carlyle suggesting that Fitzpatrick would get limited play if voted in. Nothing like tipping your hand weeks before a game. Hey Randy, any other strategies you want to let the other team in on? You’d think the Minister of Defense would appreciate a stay at home D-man like Rory?
Yeah, I wonder if Rory would have gone had he been voted in. It would be hard to go knowing everyone else thinks you shouldn’t be there.
I thought he got in…(?) I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention. These sorts of things always happen when you let the fans decide. There’s a bridge in Czechoslavakia, or somewhere like that, named after Steve Colbert, which beat out the contending title, “Chuck Norris Bridge,” by a hair. Prematurely grey-and-puffin-like Taylor Hicks won American Idol over apple-pie hottie Katherine McPhee (and some other heavy metal dude who was really good, I’m surprised to say). The year before that, a guy who truly deserved the title “special” went almost to the final round.
That’s the internet’s way of saying ‘fuck you’ to all the bullshit–and Rory Fitzpatrick is a great example of this. Why is it that a Marky Mark football movie about some worthless street bum who ends up a football player is such a feel-good story, but Rory Fitzpatrick going to the All-Star game is a disgrace?
It would have made the All-Star game worth watching. Besides, there are plenty of people out there who identify with Rory…I hate the nimble go-to guys and roadblock defencemen I play against, and I mildly resent the ones I play with. Give me a limited-ice-time role player to cheer for any day. I bet he would have scored. That goal he got the other night against Toronto was the one he was saving for the All-star game. Christ knows he would have been the only player on the ice making any real effort.
I also think it’s a big ‘fuck you’ back to the fans: “As long as you vote for our franchise players, we’ll back you up 100% (although our analysts will tell you why you’re wrong about this-or-that player), but as soon as you show any autonomy, we’ll bitch and scream about the sanctity of this robotic farce called the All-Star game until we swing the vote.” Maybe they’re worried that Rory will distract attention from the new cooperalls they’re forcing the players to wear.
Next year, I say an all-fourth-line All-Star game. Let’s do it. It would be a better game, too, I’ll bet you anything (and more fights). Make Toby Peterson the Western captain.